Self Employment (Explained through Rap)

Romantic Interest: So what does self employed mean exactly?
The Self Employed: Let me try and explain…

Cue music.

Might be a poor boy, but not a corporate toy
I will not be another bitch to exploit
Yo I’m Self Employed
Self Employed

Seeds of my business have been deployed
I will not have my dignity be destroyed
Like Leo Tolstoy, like a Street drummer boy
Yo I’m Self Employed! Self Employed!

Do my own thing like a cowboy
but the bills make me bit paranoid
Can’t afford an apartment in Detroit
Cause I’m self employed! Self employed!

People don’t know what to do with their life
so they sell it off to others for an hr at a time
bosses annoyed me, and were a waste of time
so I avoid em, and work my own dime

I have resourcefulness, some resources
enough to not put up with corporate horseshit
Ya I’m scratchin my itch for independence
Won’t put up with another human resource bitch

I ditched the damn traffic packed commute,
don’t ever have to dress up in a monkey suit
I get a lot done, just like you,
but instead of talking in offices, I just DO it

but I’m not like Nike, I’m greater
cause I’m not oppressing malnourished Chinese labor
only one in my sweatshop is me, myself, and I
the motto i live by is DIY or die

there ain’t very much “job security”
but that doesn’t exist in this economy!
for freelancing for me
is as free as it’s ever going to be

bosses wanna give me a big salary
but I ain’t gonna sign into wage slavery
and autonomy’s the way it ought to be (at least to me!)
ya Ima DIY or die try-ing

cuz I do have a prob with authority
whoring me, for a small fee
then replacing me with somebody
more young, naive, and screwed financially

if you work 9–5, don’t be hater
just cause I got more time to spare
Because I spend less time brushing my hair
and get to do my work in my underwear

Gold is getting old, life control is the goal
I don’t drink from the punch bowl much more
I’m the highest and the lowest on my totem pole
cause my totem pole is horizontal

Music ends.

RI: Why don’t we drive back to your place and have some fun
SE: Just one problem, I live with my mom
RI: We could go to my place, that might be alright
SE: I’d like to…but tonight’s a work night

Want to help my self employment? By…employing me? Please considering becoming a patron.




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Matt Orfalea

Matt Orfalea

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